Worst Mission Ever
by CaseyCuervo
Summary: All 5 g-boys have to take part in a ridiculous mission. Preventer timeline, horrified Wufei, funny (I hope)


Disclaimer: I don't own anything from Gundam Wing AC

Title: Worst Mission

Pairings: none

Warnings. Language

Rating: k+

Notes: words between / / are thoughts, words between are silent communication

Dread. Absolute dread. That's the emotion that is currently coursing through Chang Wufei's entire body. Said dread was making the vein on the left side of his forehead protrude in a very nasty way. He sat in a small room around a table with his four comrades, reading a new mission report that they all were to take part in.

_/They can't make me do this...I'll quit! I swear on everything that is just and good that I will REFUSE this mission!/_

The Chinese boy looked over towards his uni-banged friend. Trowa looked up from the mission summary report sheet and saw the expression on Wufei's face, which was absolute disbelief, tinged with fear. Trowa snorted and continued to read.

_/How is he not upset by this?!/_ Wufei then looked over to Quatre and Duo. Quatre had one eyebrow cocked and a smile on his face that seemed to be holding back laughter. Duo was holding his mission report at arms length while reading with a disgusted look on his face. Duo caught Wufei's glance and with a hand motion to the paper he was holding, he gave Wufei a look, and his friend could hear him plain as day, as if he had spoken out loud.

_You believe this shit?!_

Wufei hunched his shoulders and whipped his hands about. He mouthed, _I can't do this!_

Duo mouthed back, _I know! It's injustice!_

Wufei's expression deadpanned, while Duo chuckled to himself and continued reading the mission parameters. Glancing at Heero who was sitting at the head of the table, Wufei noticed the stoic boy looked, just like that, stoic.

_/No surprise there. He and Trowa are two peas from the same damn pod./ _

After everyone finished reading, Wufei took a deep breath and, "Are we really going to fucking do this?" He shouted. "This is utterly ridiculous! And disgraceful! I cannot and will not do a mission that requires this!"

Duo and Quatre chuckled, Trowa rolled his eyes and Heero look calmly at Wufei before stating, "This is a mission. We are Preventers. We do not choose what assignments we get. Suck it up, Chang."

Everybody got up and made way for the door. "But..." Wufei's rebuttal was thwarted by a hand on his shoulder. He turned to see violet eyes full of laughter and some of the dread he felt.

"I don't like it anymore than you do, buddy," Duo confided.

-Later that evening-

All five ex-gundam pilots were in...a changing room._ /I piloted a mother loving Gumdam and this is what I get to do now!/_ Wufei mentally complained.

Yeah, sure, it was their third mission, and they were given easy tasks to prove themselves. Commander Une wasn't about to let them take the title of Special Agent without going through the proper channels. She cut none of them slack.

Duo felt the same dread as Wufei, but couldn't help but laugh at the situation. _/This will be funnier down the road./ _Quatre just found the whole mission retardedly funny, and could barely contain his giggling. Trowa just stared at the variety of clothing that was available to them.

The door to the changing room opened and in stepped Heero. "Alright, let's get ready," he stated.

They all watched as Heero approached the rows of wigs and grab a short blonde bob cut hair piece. He put his unruly mane in a hair net and placed the wig over his scalp._ /Oh this is rich!/_ thought Duo. Heero fussed a bit with the wig to make sure it was in place and that it looked neat. He planted himself in a chair in front of a mirror that was surrounded by light bulbs.

Heero picked up a brush and applied three different shades of eyeshadow to his lids. Pink for the lid itself, a maroon for the crease, and a neutral gold just under the brow._ /Oh my god, I can't fucking do this!/ _Wufei was mentally freaking out. He watched as Heero applied a line of black liquid eyeliner to his upper lids artfully and effortlessly.

Heero turned to glare at his comrades. "What are you waiting for?" He asked them all.

Trowa shrugged, Wufei appeared shell-shocked, Quatre tried not to laugh, and Duo said, "I dunno what to do, man!"

"Come here," Heero said to Duo. He complied and Heero ripped the hair tie off the end of his braid and shook out his hair until it flowed in all its wavy glory. At the same time, Quatre turned to pick out a dress. _/I have twenty-nine sisters, it's not like I haven't done this before./_ He chose a red dress with thin straps that ended mid-thigh. He began to change.

Trowa followed Quatre's lead and started rifling through the clothing. Wufei just stood there. Heero applied silver and black eyeshadow to Duos lids to give him a smokey look. He applied a thicker line of liquid eyeliner to the violet eyes since they were larger and more open than his. Heero finished off Duos eye make up with black liner at the egde of his bottom lid, topped off with mascara.

"Use that blush, and that lipsticks," he told Duo as he mascaraed his own lashes. _/I don't look half bad./_ Duo appraised himself in the mirror.

Quatre had changed into his red dress and chose a long blond wig that ended at the center of his back. Trowa had decided on a green dress because it matched his eyes. It had a turtle neck like appeal, with a wide hole in the chest that was meant to show off cleavage. The back of the dress was also wide open, and was a little shorter than mid-thigh. His boxers were showing.

"You have to change into ladies underwear," Quatre told him. Trowa shrugged and went to look for underpants. Wufei was still standing in the middle of the room looking mortified._ /No, I can't. I won't!/_

At the second mirror in the changing room, Quatre began to put on his own make up, while helping Trowa along the way. Heero handed Duo a strapless black dress that ended three inches above the knee. He chose a simple dark pink dress for himself that had a plummeting V-neck. Looking at the shoes, Heero picked out a pair of strapie silver open toed heels for himself, black velvet pumps for Duo, black zip up heeled suede boots for Trowa, white pleather stilettos for Quatre, and for Wufei...

Heero glanced at Wufei and glared. The Chinese boy was just standing there, petrified. After handing out the shoes, Heero pushed Wufei to sit in the chair he had occupied.

"Duo, grab that white dress for Wufei," he ordered. Duo did so, and noticed it was quite modest. Thin straps but not too reveling in the chest area, and a little longer than what the rest of them had chosen. Heero undid Wufei's tight ponytail and brushed his silky black locks until they smoothed out. Quatre applied a thin line of black liquid liner to the top lids of his friends brown eyes, opting that Wufei might crack if he tried to put any eye shadow on him. Mascara and lite pink lip gloss were the final touches._ /I'm in hell. I'm in freaking hell./_ Wufei mentally screamed.

"How are you so good at this, Yuy?" Wufei asked his friend.

"I've been trained in many, many things Wufei," Heero deadpanned.

He was forced out of the chair by Trowa. He changed into his dress quickly and Duo handed him strapie black low heeled shoes. Once everyone was dressed and ready, Heero handed out garters that were for them to wear high on one thigh. The garters had a loop that was placed to the inside of the thigh, where a small hand gun was to be placed. Heero also handed out the small fire arms. _/These are lady guns!/_ Wufei was beginning to feel nauseous.

They all approached the door, and waited for Heero's signal. The Japanese boy opened the cylinder of the small gun, spun it with an audible _zzzzzz_, closed with a _clack_, and placed it in its hiding place on his body.

Clutching the door handle, Heero looked back at his comrades. "Alright, let's do this by the book," he said. "Lets go take down that drug dealing drag queen." And they all exited the room. _/This is the worst mission ever./_ Wufei groaned mentally.


End file.
